Futurama Porn Story: I Dream of Leela Chapter 3

Futurama Porn Story: I Dream of Leela Chapter 3

And my girlfriend likes U.L. and D.H.C.
And shes so smart and independent; I dont think she needs me
Quite half as much as I know I need her.
I wonder why theres not another guy that shed prefer

Yeah, my girlfriend takes collect calls from the road
And it doesnt seem to matter that Im lacking in the bulge.
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one else does.
She brings me Mexican food from Sombreros just because.

And when I feel like giving up,
Like my world is falling down,
I show up at 3am
Shes still up watching Vacation and I
See her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and
I know that everything,
Everythings gonna be fine.
– Josie by Blink 182

Scene: Next morning in the kitchen.

(Leela, wearing a robe over her nightgown, groggily walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eye.)

Fry: Morning.

(She looks up and sees him sitting at the table, drinking coffee. She smiles and sits down.)

Leela: Gmorning. Im surprised my father didnt kick you out.

Fry: Well, once I reasoned with him, he let me off with a stern warning that if you get pregnant or contract HIV Ill never see the sun rise again.

Leela: Have you ever seen it rise?

Fry: No. But he doesnt know that.

Leela: You should. Its so beautiful. Probably the prettiest thing in the universe.

Fry: Even prettier than you?

Leela: Remember what I said when you said the view in my apartment was perfect?

Fry: Yeah. You said it was the corniest thing youd ever heard.

Leela: Well, Im making your comment just now take its place.

Fry: But girls like corny things, dont they?

Leela: Why else would I be going out with you?

Fry: I see your point. But is that why you love me?

Leela: (smiling) Dont push it.

Fry: So what do you want to do tonight?

Leela: I dunno. But lets not relive last night. I dont think I want to get yelled at again.

Fry: Yeah. Plus, if your dad found us like that again, hed probably throw me in the lake of toxic waste.

Leela: (chuckling) It seems so weird to have someone always on my case like that.

Fry: Thats what having parents is all about: getting nagged about everything.

Leela: Dont you ever miss your parents?

Fry: Sure. I miss them a lot, but I try not to let it get to me. Ive accomplished more here than I ever could in the Twentieth century so I just try to remind myself that theyd be proud of me.

Leela: Im sure they would.

Fry: I just wish they had said so a bit more when I was younger. I mean, I know they were, they just didnt show it. I never really felt as loved as a kid should back then. Thats why I was so hasty to move in with Michelle. I thought maybe then someone would love me, but I was wrong.

Leela: Im sorry. You know, youll always have me.

Fry: Do you promise that?

Leela: What do you mean?

Fry: Nothing. Forget I mentioned it. Lets just focus on having a good time today.

Leela: Good idea. I think Ill take a shower. (seeing the look on Frys face) Alone.

Scene: Central Park Lake.

(Leela and Fry are feeding the ducks and swans bread.)

Leela: (to a duck in front) Hold on there. Youll get a piece too.

Fry: There sure are a lot of them.

Leela: Yeah. Theyre always fighting for something to eat. Its like they can never be full.

Fry: That sounds like me and Yancy. We both wanted attention from my parents and wed always fight about it. My parents never did anything about it though. Dad was perfecting the bomb shelter and my mom had no time for anything since she was always caught up in her baseball and football and golf.

Leela: How did you ever manage to make it?

Fry: I dunno. Just pure luck I guess.

Leela: I never got any attention when I was a kid either. I didnt think anyone cared about meuntil I met you.

(She takes his hand. They lean in for a kiss. Aw)

Fry: (excited) Whadya say we just do it in the grass?

Leela: (rolls her eye) No sex.

Fry: Aw, are you still sticking to that after last night?

Leela: You better believe it. I just found my parents. I dont want to alienate myself from them again.

Fry: I understand. But what if I paid thousands to stay in this great big hotel?

Leela: Nope.

Fry: Okay. What if Ibought you a brand new apartment in the perfect neighborhood with marble tabletops and bathroom?

Leela: Still no.

Fry: Sheesh. Youre like the safe from I Dream of Jeannie yesterday.

Leela: The one where the moon safe could only be opened by the president and Jeannie was stuck inside?

Fry: Yeah, that one. Hey, wait a secyoure not having an affair with President Nixon, are you?

Leela: Fortunately not. Im huggable and kissable, but not seducible.

Fry: Too bad.

Cut to a while later.

(Leela and Fry are both lying out on the grass, cloud-gazing.)

Fry: That one looks likea person.

Leela: And that one looks like a cat.

Fry: And theres one that looks like a guy begging his girlfriend for another amazing night.

(Leela gives him a look.)

Fry: Sorry. But you have to believe me. It is the best Ive ever had.

Leela: Even better than Amy?

Fry: Much better. Amy doesnt come close.

Leela: What about Michelle?

Fry: Nope. Still better.

Leela: How bout Morgan?

Fry: That lasted, like, a minute.

Leela: I know. But am I better?

Fry: Way better.

Leela: Hmwhat about Mildred?

Fry: Ew! Dont even bring that up. Thats the most disgusting thing in the world. Itsits

Leela: Incest?

Fry: Yeah. Whatever that means.

(Leela rolls her eye.)

Fry: What do you say we go window-shopping?

Leela: But then Ill be tempted to buy something.

Fry: So? Its a special day.

Leela: Not anymore.

Fry: (suave) It could be

Leela: Dont ask again.

Fry: But its fun watching you squirm.

Leela: Not as fun as watching you squirm. I think I will take you up on that shopping trip. And I think the first place Ill go is

Cut to outside a store.

(The camera zooms in on Frys face)

Fry: (disbelieving) Fredricks of New New York?

(Camera zooms out to reveal a bright pink store filled to the brim with lacy lingerie.)

Fry: You cant be serious.

Leela: I am. And Im going to try on everything in here in front of you.

Fry: Cant I just go to the food court for the next five hours?

Leela: Nope. I need you to tell me what looks best.

Fry: This is torture! Youre just gonna trot out in front of me wearing almost nothing and Ill never be able to lay a hand on you again!

Leela: Wellyou might be able to some time.

Fry: Really?

Leela: Yes, but at the moment, I see a bright red corset with my name on it.

(She drags him in.)

Scene: Back at the apartment.

(Leela and Fry come in the door. Leelas carrying two huge bags from Fredericks of New New York. Frys got a plastic bag filled to the brim with Chinese food from Ming Nas House of Chow and High-Budget Animated Films.)

Leela: (teasing) I think Ill go put these incredibly revealing pieces of lingerie away in my bedroom.

Fry: Great. Why dont you put one on while youre at it?

Leela: I think I will.

(She winks, rather blinks, at him before walking into her room. Fry goes into the kitchen and begins setting out the Chinese food. A moment later Leela strolls in, wearing a magenta corset.)

Fry: What a nice outfit.

Leela: Thanks. I thought youd like it.

Fry: Chow mein?

Leela: Sure.

(He passes the box to her and intentionally spills it all over her.)

Fry: Oops. How clumsy of me. Now lets get you out of those filthy clothes.

Leela: Uh, I think I can handle it.

(She goes into her room and emerges a while later in her normal attire.)

Fry: Want some Brain slug-fried rice?

Leela: In a minute. I think Ill have a fortune cookie first.

(She grabs a cookie out of a small paper bag and breaks it in half. She pulls the fortune out and reads it to herself.)

Leela: (quietly) You will be asked a life-altering question.

Fry: So, did you get a good one?

Leela: Oh, you know, just the same old stuff you always get.

Fry: Yeah. Same here.

(He shows her his fortune, which reads, Ed McMann says you may already be a winner.)

Fry: Lemme see what the last one says.

(He picks it out and tries to crack it, but struggles with it.)

Leela: Here. (Places it in front of her and does a karate chop) Hi-ya! (grabs it) Here you go.

Fry: Thanks. (Reading) You reunite with a long-lost relativeHm. Maybe it means the Professor. It must be months since we last saw him.

Leela: We were just at work Thursday.

Fry: Man, time does fly.

Leela: I have to admit, its gonna be sad going back to work tomorrow.

Fry: (suave) We could be late.

Leela: No, I want to be on time for my first day back at work.

Fry: (still suave) I guess that means we should go to bed early.

Leela: Good idea. I think Ill go to bed right now.

Fry: Ill go with you.

Leela: No, I need my privacy. You know, journal-writing. Well, gnight.

(She slams her bedroom door.)

Scene: Planet Express.

(Everyone is in the lounge with Leela and Amy sitting at the table.)

Amy: So, Leelahow was the um-hm?

Leela: Amy!

Amy: Im just asking. Did anythingout of the ordinary happen?

Leela: WellFry fell out of the bed twice.

Fry: (interjecting) It was three times!

Leela: And my dad kind of showed up after wewell, you know.

Amy: Ouch. Howd he take it?

Leela: Not well. He all but threw Fry out the window.

Amy: Well, at least hes still in one piece.

Leela: Yeah.

Amy: (whispering) So what are you gonna get him for his birthday?

Leela: I dont know. Ive been thinking about it for a while, but Im not sure.

Amy: Well, I guess itll come to you eventually.

Leela: (dryly) Thanks for the reassurance.

Amy: (smiling) No problem.

Professor: Good news everyone!

Bender: (outraged) Thats it! Im not deliverin anything til you get interactive TV! Serena, lets go.

(He stands up.)

Professor: A delivery? Oh, my, no. Im announcing my latest invention.

Bender: (sitting down) Well, in that case.

Professor: Ive created the Time Object Displacement Device!

Fry: Wow! Are you gonna send rubber pigs back in time and get Wernstrom when hes trying to take photos of Bigfoot?

Leela: What?!

Amy: Fry, thats only in Jhonen Vasquez cartoons. Its like fluh.

Professor: Amys right, Fry. Theyre actually rubber moose.

Fry: Oh. Is Bender gonna be your insane robot sidekick?

Bender: Ill be nobodys side kick! Benders the star! Me, Bender!

(Camera pans back to the Professor. Bender jumps up and waves his arms.)

Bender: Hey, get back here, you no-good-

Cut to the Professors lab.

(Everyone is standing around what looks like a big swirling purple void with lots of electrical wires sticking out. The Professor is manning a switchboard nearby.)

Professor: Now, Ill set the Time Object Displacement Device to January 3rd, 2002. (Pressing buttons) Amy, throw one of those stuffed moose into the vortex.

Amy: Okay.

(She pulls a moose out of a cardboard box marked GIRs. She then throws it into the TODD.)

Cut to a New York street.

(A chocolate lab runs out into the middle of the street to catch a stick.)

Familiar Voice: Buddy, no!

(Just as a car is about to hit the dog, he is zapped and replaced by the moose. A teenage girl gets out of the car.)

Girl: Oh no! I killed it!

(Former President Clinton strolls up to the girl.)

Clinton: Well, hey there, Hot Cakes. (Tribbiani-esque) How you doin?

Girl: Sir, I just killed your dog.

Clinton: What?

Girl: Hes dead.

Clinton: No!! (pause) But youre okay, right?

Cut back to PE.

(The dog jumps through the vortex and into the Professors lab.)

Amy and Leela: Aw!

(Fry bends down to pet the dog.)

Fry: So you can transport people and animals from one time period to another?

Professor: Of course. Though its only temporary and the bugs havent been all worked out yet.

Hermes: But where exactly did disthing come from?

Professor: New York, doi! Its shown on this video screen.

(He motions to a large screen above the switch board. On the screen, the girl cries over Buddy while Clinton has his arm around her shoulder. In the bushes, a particular cat wearing a collar that says Socks laughs to himself.)

Scene: Leela and Frys apartment.

(Fry and Leela are lying in their bed. Hes talking to her, but shes just staring at the ceiling.)

Fry: That sure is neat, huh? I mean, you could bring back Lincoln and all those other people from my time. And Id finally be able to prove to you who made the cotton gin.

Leela: It was Eli Whitney.

Fry: I think David Duchovny would have to disagree with you. I mean, who else but him could invent it? Whoever did make it obviously had some mental problems. And he was always around aliens and Bigfoot and stuff. He had to be a little disturbed. (Pause) Are you even listening?

Leela: What? Sorry, I was just thinking.

Fry: About what?

Leela: Oh, yknow, stuff. Like those fortune cookies from last night.

Fry: Oh yeah! Mine was right. I got a letter from Ed McMann today. But I was too freaked out to open it. And then I spilled Slurm on it, so I had to. I won a free package of adhesive medical strips.

Leela: Hm.

Fry: Something you wanna say?

Leela: Wellkind of.

Fry: Go ahead.

Leela: Its just thatI meanerwell, where do you see us going?

Fry: What do you mean?

Leela: Like do you see us staying this way for very long or breaking up or gettingwell

Fry: (Gulps) I hadnt thought about it

Leela: I didnt think so.

(She grabs the comforter and lays on her side with her back to him, obviously disappointed.)

Fry: But I can tell you this much, (he wraps his arms around her) I will never, ever hurt or leave you. I promise.

(Leela smiles a little.)

Leela: Do you mean that?

Fry: (smiling) I do.

(They kiss, which leads to full-frontal snogging which then leads to stuff Im not gonna go into here)

Scene: The next day at Robot Arms Apartments.

(Frys over at Benders, kicking back on the couch.)

Fry: And all I had to do was tell her that I wouldnt leave her and she was practically throwing herself at me-

Bender: Look, its great that you have all this great stuff with Leela, but you dont need to tell me constantly about it. I mean, Serena and me have gotten it on ten times more an you and Leela and in one day even.

Fry: Sorry, Bender. I didnt know you felt that way.

Bender: Bender? Feeling? NoUh, just keep going on about all the great sex you and Leela are having.

Fry: Well, its only been three timesOkay, four counting this morning, but its reallywow. And I think I know why its that way.

Bender: Why?

Fry: Because we connect in more ways than one. Its likelike its not just a physical thing, you know? We actually care about each other. I mean, its never been like this with anyone else. Just her (Pause) Bender?

Bender: What?

Fry: I think Im in love with Leela.

Bender: Big surprise. We all saw it comin.

Fry: I mean, really. Not just how it was with Michelle and Lizzie. Im talking like forever in love with her.

Bender: You know what that means, doncha?

Fry: Yeah. It means Im gonna spend the rest of my life with her.

Bender: Uh, no. It means youre a complete sucker. Only complete losers fall in love permanently.

Fry: True, but I dont think I mind being a loser. Not if I still have her.

Bender: Fry, you sickenyet inspire me.

Fry: Huh?

Bender: Do you think its possible for aa robot to fall in real love?

Fry: Id say its a definite possibility. Why? You and Serena

Bender: I dont know. Its just thateverything she does is just so freakin cute!

Fry: Bender, I think were a couple of losers in love.

Bender: Oh gawd, no!

(He starts crying. Fry pats him on the back.)

Scene: Leela and Frys apartment.

(Leela is sprawled out on the couch with a pad and pen in her lap. The top of the page is titled Birthday Presents. Underneath is listed Year Supply of Slurm, No more Fredericks of New New York, a 20th Century meal and sex slave for a day. She sits, deep in thought. And gets an idea! She begins to write it down, but the door begins to open. She stashes it under the couch. Fry comes in.)

Leela: (nonchalantly) Oh, Fry, I thought youd be home earlier.

Fry: Yeah, sorryI thought maybe Id make dinner for us

(He walks up to her and kisses her.)

Fry: And then, maybe we could have a littlepie.

(Leela smirks.)

Leela: What should I wear?

Fry: Uhhow about that little red number. I want tonight to be special.

Leela: You mean the red dress I bought at Mariposa? I didnt know you liked it.

Fry: It looks good on you. Not that anything looks bad on you.

Leela: Whatever you say.

(She walks into the bedroom and shuts the door.)

Fry: Yes! Somebodys gonna score tonight

(He waltzes into the kitchen whistling You Sexy Thing)

Scene: Outside the kitchen.

(Leela is wearing a semi-short red satin dress. Fry is wearing a nice shirt and slacks. Hes covering her eye and leading her into the kitchen.)

Leela: Can I look yet?

Fry: Just a secondOkay, now.

(He uncovers her eye and takes her hand. The camera angle switches to show the table covered with a red tablecloth. The room is lit by a few candles and a single red rose sits in a vase.)

Leela: FryII dont know what to say

Fry: Dont say anything. Just sit.

(He leads her over to her chair, where she is seated. He then places a plate of spaghetti at each of their spots.)

Leela: This is so sweet.

(He takes her hand from across the table.)

Fry: Leela, theres something Ive always wanted to axe you, but every time-

(The phone rings.)

Fry: Let the machine get it.

Leela: (getting up) What if its important?

(She runs to the phone. Fry sighs. Leela answers it. The Professor appears on the screen.)

Professor: Leela, is Fry there?

Leela: Yeah. Do you want me to get him?

Professor: Just tell him to get down here. I need the two of you down here immediately.

(He hangs up.)

Fry: Well, that was weird.

Leela: We better do what he says. Cmon.

(She puts on her black jacket and drags a rather disappointed-looking Fry out the door.)

Scene: The Professors lab.

(The Professor and Hermes are standing by the TODD. Fry and Leela are staring blankly at it. Leela takes her jacket off and puts it on the coat rack. Hermes eyes boggle.)

Hermes: For Jahs sake, woman, if we interrupt sumptin at least put some decent clothes on before you get your ass over here.

Leela: We were not-

Professor: Shut up, friends! Ive called the two of you here for one reason and one reason only

Fry: Which is?

Professor: Oh yesI seem to have misplaced my glasses.

Fry: Youre wearing them.

Professor: (feels glasses) Oh my. So I am

Leela: (irritated) You called us all the way down here for that?

Professor: Oh my, no. I called you down here to show that Ive polished the Time Object Displacement Device. Its now capable of bringing back entire human beings!

Leela: Couldnt it do that before?

Professor: Not whole human beings. We ended up with half of Rachel Leigh Cook.

Fry: Which half?

Professor: The top.

Fry: Rrowww

Leela: Fry!

Fry: Right, rightsorry.

Leela: So why exactly do you need us? And why is Hermes here?

Professor: Ive decided that to make Frys life in the future more organized Id bring back the only two people who made it miserable earlierhis parents!

Hermes: And Im here should de Professor cross over the line man was not meant to cross more than five feet.

Fry: Cool! Youre really gonna bring my folks to the future?

Professor: Well, that was the idea

Leela: Are you sure this is such a good idea?

Professor: Of course Im not sure! What do you take me for? Some rationalscientist person? Now, well start the Time Object Displacement Device

(He sets the clock to April 13 2002. Lightning strikes outside, bathing the room in electrifying light.)

Professor: (cackling manically) Fry, the pig!

(Fry picks up a pig and throws it into the TODD.)

Cut to the Frys house.

(Yancy Sr. and Chandra are seated on the couch watching a twenty-first century classic)

Rafe: Danny, you cant die. You know why? Cause youre gonna be a daddy. I wasnt supposed to tell you, but youre gonna be a daddy!

Danny: No, Rafe. You are.

(Chandra starts to cry.)

Yancy Sr.: Cmon soldier! Die with dignity!

Chandra: (tearfully) How can you be so insensitive?

Yancy Sr.: Easy.

(Chandra cries harder, gets up and runs off.)

Yancy Sr.: Aw, cmon, Chandra-

(He follows her. A moment later, Yancy walks in.)

Yancy: Alright. Kate Beckinsale

(Just then, he is zapped and replaced by the pig.)

Cut to the Professors lab.

(Fry stands twiddling his thumbs in anxiety, Leela twirls her ponytail, the Professor is asleep and Hermes writes something down on his clipboard.)

Hermes: One count of fallin asleep in the middle of the experimentoh ho hothatll be five grand

(Suddenly, the TODD opens and Yancy comes falling and screaming through. He is deposited on the floor.)

Yancy: (rubbing his posterior) Ow

Fry: Oh my god! Yancy!

Yancy: Philip!

(He looks up and sees Leela.)

Yancy: Phil, look out! Theres a monster behind youwith really nice-

Fry: Dont get too comfortableshes with me.

Yancy: You always could pick em, Phil.

(They embrace. Leela smiles at Fry.)

Fry: Its great to see you, but

Yancy: What?

Fry: Mom and Dad were supposed to get sucked in, not you.

Yancy: Im confused.

Fry: Good. Were on the same level. Now, let me introduce you to everyone. (Pointing at Leela) Now, this is my lovely live-in girlfriend, Leela.

Leela: Nice to meet you, Yancy.

(He shakes her hand.)

Yancy: Same here. You keeping my little bro in line?

Fry: You better believe it. For over a month after we started going out, she wouldnt-

Leela: Thats enough, Fry.

Fry: Yes, captain. (Moving on the Professor) This is Professor Farnsworth. Hes our great-times-thirty nephew.

Yancy: Come again?

Fry: Its the year 3003.

Yancy: Ohh

Fry: And this is Hermes. Hes the resident bearucrat at Planet Express. Thats where me and Leela work. You can meet everyone else tomorrow. I think we have a lot to talk about tonight

Leela: But Fry, I thought we were gonna-

Fry: Oh yeah. Uhwell go home and if you gimme an hour, then well talk.

(Leela smacks her forehead.)

Scene: Fry and Leelas apartment.

(The door opens and the trio walks in.)

Yancy: Thats just like Star Trek!

Fry: Thats what I said when I first came here!

(Leela just shakes her head and smiles. Fry makes eye contact with her.)

Leela: (fakes yawn) Well, Im bushed. Im gonna go to bed. It was nice meeting you, Yancy

(She grins at Fry before going into the bedroom.)

Fry: (rushed) Okay, Yancy, this is the remote. Twenty thousand channels. Im sure Charlies Angels is on one of them. Now, I gotta go. But Ill be back in an hour, k?

Yancy: She that good that you gotta leave your older brother sitting here?

Fry: You better believe it. Have you ever had popplers?

Yancy: No.

Fry: Oh. Well, I think we froze some from a couple years ago. Anyway, theyre like the best things you could ever eat. And when Im with herits like eating all the popplers in the world

(Leela comes out wearing her pink negligee.)

Leela: Fry? You promised me- Uh, Yancyhi.

Fry: Yeah, just a sec, sweetie.

(Leela sighs and goes back into the bedroom.)

Scene: The next morning.

(Leela yawns and opens her eye.)

Fry: Hey, beautiful.

Leela: (smiling) Yknow, I wanted dessert last night. But I guess it could carry over to this morning

(She kisses him.)

Fry: As much as I want that, I dont think its a good idea right now

Leela: Whys that?

(As if on cue, Yancy pops up from the floor.)

Yancy: Hey, theres eggs in the future, right?

(If looks could kill, Fry would be buried.)

Leela: (strict) What is he doing here?!

Fry: Well, I didnt want you to be alone last night and I didnt want to stop talking to Yancy so

Leela: So you just assumed I wouldnt mind having your brother in here when you know I-

Yancy: Is this a bad time?

Leela: (exasperated) Yes. Yancy, go make coffee. Black. I need it strong.

Yancy: (getting up) Okie dokie.

Leela: Just tell it how many cups you want and the strength.

(He leaves.)

Fry: Youre mad at me, arent you?

Leela: No, of course not- What do you think?!

Fry: Uhyes?

Leela: Good guess.

Fry: So are you mad because Yancys here or that we didnt get to

Leela: I dont know. I guess I just thought last night was gonna be special

Fry: I know. Believe me, I wanted it to be too. But we can still make tonight special, okay?

Leela: Well, okay.

(Yancy comes in.)

Yancy: Uhshould the coffee-maker be shooting out bad-smelling black goo?

Scene: Planet Express.

(Yancy, Fry and Leela walk in.)

Amy: So thats Frys brother

Fry: Yancy, this is Planet Express intern, Amy Wong.

Amy: (holding out her hand) Pleased to meet you.

Yancy: (suave) The pleasures all mine

Amy: Hey, dont flatter yourself. Im taken.

Fry: This is Bender, our cook.

Bender: Thats chef Bender to you! Naw, Im just kidding. Any brother of Frys is a friend of mine.

Fry: And this is Serena, theuh, maid.

Yancy: Cool. There are robot maids in the future?

Serena: Well, I was specifically designed to clean up whatever mess these organisms leave lying around.

Yancy: Neat.

Zoidberg: (bursting in) And Im the rich doctor!

Yancy: Really? Do you do plastic surgery cos Ive been wondering about-

Leela: (cutting him off quickly) Dr. Zoidbergs quite busy, youd have to be on the wait list and you know how those can be.

Hermes: Lets get down to business, people!

(Everyone takes their seats at the table.)

Hermes: Now, today youll be makin a delivery to Gripling 4.

Leela: What are we delivering?

Hermes: A box of blue blankets from a Mister Carl Foutley to Blake Gripling, ruler of the planet. Now, git going!

Cut to right before the ship blasts off.

Fry: (To Yancy) This is the best part- Okay, not as good as one on one after the delivery, if you get my drif-

Leela: Fry!

Yancy: Cool. Do you use a countdown?

Fry: No. Cos it doesnt take very long to get there. Like once, I said the countdown and before I got to five, we were there.

Yancy: Wow. Thats fast.

Leela: Itll take a while to get to Gripling 4 though. Its all the way over in the Geddes galaxy. Settle in for a six-hour ride, both ways. Well be lucky to get back to earth by sundown.

Cut to them touching down on Gripling 4.

(Gripling 4 from the looks of it is a prim and proper planet of nicely cut grass, golden gates and huge mansions. The crew gets out of the ship.)

Leela: Now, I have very specific orders for you all. Bender, you go into town and find something to cook for dinner. Zoidberg cleaned out the fridge.

Zoidberg: (tearfully) I vas hungry

Leela: Serena, youll be in charge of cleaning the ship. Make sure you spray some Febreeze or something in the Dark Matter Chamber.

Serena: Understood, maam.

Leela: Amy and I will make sure everythings working on the ship and then go mingle with the rich, stuffy people of the planet. Fry and Yancy, I want you to take Mr. Foutleys crate to Blake Gripling. And make sure you dont mess up. Robert Bishop will be there and I dont want any more bad impressions.

Yancy: Whos Robert Bishop?

Fry: Some really close friend of the Space Pope, I think.

Yancy: Ah.

Leela: I want everyone back here in two hours, got it?

(A chorus of okay, got it and whatever ensues.)

Leela: See you all back here soon.

(Everyone heads off in their own directions.)

Cut to later.

(Leelas standing in front of the ship, looking very peeved.)

Leela: So how many mishaps did we run into today?

Bender: None. I mugged three people.

Zoidberg: I had to do the dishes after eating all the sushi in a sushi bar.

Serena: Well, the Dark Matter Chamber rusted after I sprayed the cleaning stuff on it

Amy: I mingled with Courtney Gripling. THE Courtney Gripling!

Fry: Uh, I spilled coffee on Robert Bishop.

Yancy: Made Blake break into hives when I offered him a chocolate bar.

Leela: Ughone day we will have a mission without screw-ups

Scene: Leela and Frys quarters on the ship.

(Leela is sprawled out on the bed while Fry is sitting by the window, gazing out.)

Leela: Auto-pilot on, dinner over, sick bags in every roomI think everythings accounted for.

Fry: Does that mean, we can

Leela: (seductively) Well, we do have at least an hour til we have to be back on earth

(She gives him a sexy look. He takes the hint. Within a moment, the two are kissing passionately. In the background, a small vortex opens and Yancy comes running out. Two feet away, another opens and he goes running through.)

Leela: (breaking the kiss) What was that?

Fry: Forget about it

(They go back to snogging. A minute later, we hear Yancy yell.)

Yancy: Phil! Get in here!

(Fry gets up and dashes out of the bedroom. Leela follows. They run into the bathroom, where the screams are coming from.)

Fry: (entering) Yancy, I told you, autoeroticexfixation only happens in movie- Omigod!

(The camera reveals Yancy standing in front of the mirror. He is slowly fading from the waist down)

~End of Part Three~

Dun dun dun! Okay, I lied. Part Threes not the end. Youll have to read Part Four for the conclusion

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